In my mind, there are two kinds of forgiveness... forgiving one self and forgiving others. Actions or non-actions which carry the stigma of emotional self judgment/ regrets or trauma require self forgiveness in order to release, resolve, and heal one's self. Living in pain and suffering are choices that we make, and when we decide to change our lives and face our pain, we need to forgive ourselves for holding on to the pain. Pain places great limitations on how we view life and how we live, so, forgiving ourselves for robbing our lives of joy is a necessary part of healing. There are no victims.. we are only victims of ourselves, because it is our choice to take on / believe / accept pain as our reality.
Forgiving others is a matter of perspective... If we hold grudges, feel wronged or have the belief the others can cause pain in us, then forgiving others is a necessary part of healing. The greater truth is that no one can cause emotional pain in another person. If some one says something about us or to us that is negative and detracts from one's self, then the "normal" reaction is to blame them for those negative feelings that arise from within. These come from our own sense of self... no where else. It is how we feel about OUR SELVES that creates the pain. In this sense, the other person is a great teacher of ours and is offering a gift of insight... they are simply holding a mirror so that we can see what is within our selves. We then have a choice to heal our self or not... We should be aware that we do not have to accept what is said about us, as it is only their perception of us that they are commenting on. If the comment is accepted, personalized, and internalized, then the result is pain. We make that choice.
I wonder about people asking for forgiveness... The words " forgive me.. " seem to be for the asker not for the receiver of the request. They have regrets about something and want me to condone their action, non-action, what was said or whatever they are feeling guilty or responsible for. Therefore, asking for forgiveness comes from a need of the asker to feel better about themselves, and does not have anything to do with the other person. Each person goes through own processes of forgiving others and themselves and it is internal to them and them alone. Each person is unique in their own understanding of the outside world and the events therein, especially the emotional aspects of it. A person asking for forgiveness is coming from their own interpretation of an event and not that of the person being asked.
So, what does asking for forgiveness mean ?? Forgive me for making you feel bad?? Forgive me for what I did?? Forgive me for ...??? These carry the energy of judgments and assumptions, because it is difficult to know and understand what the other person's experience is, unless they tell you. Even then, there is a personal bias.. what is really true ?? What is a greater truth ?? So, from both sides, forgiver and the forgiven, it all seems to come back to self forgiveness... Therefore, I suggest, do not ask for forgiveness of another.. they will forgive in their own time and it is selfish to ask them to deal with your stuff... deal with your own self and give yourself the love and healing that you need. Love is forgiving your self and others... Love is for giving to your self and others... These responsibilities are yours and yours alone....
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Love Thyself...
Every thing is perfect… the perfection of thee All is with/in thee all… creation IS perfect.. each individual is a spirit & flesh and is both.. perfect AND imperfect and, the imperfection IS perfect… It is when we judge our choices from duality as being right /wrong; good/bad that we lose our perfect imperfection & fall into the trap of duality… Each experience should be viewed as just that… an experience… to learn from, to enjoy, to decide whether or not we want to experience again or not or whatever purpose is served… objectively & without judgment….
Judgment of thoughts/ actions… good/bad, right/wrong… introduces negative & positive feelings created from thought/experience connecting with emotion. The resulting feelings, generically, are not real but are simply a temporary, essentially neutral, energy form created within a person from and for the experience and should be acknowledged/ expressed, accepted and released. Positive feelings can become addictive to the extent of being pursued vigorously absorbing a lot of energy and become a means of avoiding reality which contains both, positive AND negative feelings. Therefore, positive feelings are not necessarily “good”… but are not “bad” either… ALL feelings should be part of the experience and become part of the past along WITH the experience….
It is negative feelings that present the greatest challenge, because the tendency is to hold them within oneself, instead of experiencing, acknowledging/ expressing them and letting them go. These held feelings are fed by other experiences which cause them to grow and thus, dis- ease sets in on the mental/emotional levels which eventually manifest in physical form. Holding negative feelings becomes a pattern of denying the reality of the human existence and it too, can become addictive and absolutely definitive in unconsciously determining the actions and responses of an individual in different situations. Negative feelings, that are held, consume an enormous amount of energy, simply to keep the security systems of a comfort zone in place. Blocks, barriers, denials, or whatever they might be, drain a person's energy system, and cause weakness physically and in immune systems, mentally and emotionally and, eventually, become disease.
Unprocessed feelings become part of a complex, unconscious program which operate the individual without their awareness through conditioned responses, much like Pavlov’s dog. Experiences/thoughts connect with emotions creating a feeling which follows a path to memories of other experiences of same/ similar feelings. If the feeling(s) from that memory have not been processed and cleared, they add to the held feeling(s) and it grows, and it will continue to grow until the first trigger experience of the feeling is accepted, the feelings cleared and the learning taken from it. This will essentially clear all subsequent similar experiences/feelings. If not cleared, the feelings grow until the feelings manifest in physical reality as disease… The original experience and the unprocessed feelings are the start of dis- ease, or mental/emotional discomfort.
Fear lies at the root of all discomfort... unwillingness to look at mental/emotional history, especially negative experiences, because it is believed that it is a painful experience to be avoided. This belief does, however, create a barrier between the selfs… the human, ego self and the higher SELF…. This is the creation of separation/ duality within an individual where thoughts/ actions/ feelings are judged good/bad or right/ wrong and the war within begins and becomes manifest on the outside in personality. This is the essence of the allegory of the Garden of Eden and separation from the “god” that is within each person, caused by fear, doubt, guilt, etc … Note that guilt and many negative feelings are really self judgment and we take these on as a truth by our freewill choice....
The center of this dynamic is choice… first, choosing the thought/ action/ experience, whatever that may be, recognizing that ALL experiences are a choice, consciously or not, for a purpose and nothing happens WITHOUT a purpose. Secondly, how it will be experienced from the perspective of emotions… joy, sadness, hurt, or fear are the primary emotions which will connect to the thought/experience to create the feeling experience…. Thirdly.. the choice of how the generated feelings will be processed… felt and held/denied or, acknowledged/ expressed, accepted and released. These choices are critical, since the consequence of the choice is dis- ease/ disease or not… The purpose of the experience is what each individual must determine for themselves…. learning, teaching, enjoyment, expression of self, and give and receive exchange of energy with others are just a few and may include several aspects in one experience.. ie: a learning / teaching experience is naturally an energy exchange as well…
The key to existence in peace, love and harmony is to be in the moment which, quite simply, means being self-aware all the time and being in alignment/attunement to the innocence of your higher SELF. Self- awareness allows the instantaneous and spontaneous expression of feelings and/or the processing of them so that they are not held or denied and this keeps the energy system clean and clear. This is exercising choice during the action/ experience and THIS IS TRUE FREEDOM. As an analogy, it is the constant blank screen of the mental and emotional bodies … like an etch-a-sketch from which every drawing/experience can be erased and be ready for the next one… It is getting back to the innocence of the child who does not judge things in terms of right/wrong, good/bad or perfect/ imperfect and is the state of BEING OK (NOT just FEELING OK ) with every thing….
Pain does not, in fact, exist in and of itself…. As a child, an individual learns of physical pain from experiences in the body.. falling hurts, and touching a hot stove hurts and these are bad experience. These experiences of physical feeling are taken by the child and applied to mental/emotional feeling situations. If something doesn’t feel good, it must be bad, and since a child does not want to feel bad, the inclination is to judge feelings in these terms and, rather than acknowledge negative feelings, deny them. This starts to happen at around the age of two, when a child starts to become aware of mental /emotional feelings and is more aware of sensory input and a greater world. The innocent child does not know what feelings are or where they come from and develops coping skills/ programs in order to take care of them. Unlike the sensory feelings, mental /emotional feelings are random, constant and chaotic and, since no one but the child is aware of them, the child cannot be taught how to deal with them. Out of his/her discomfort with chaos, the child decides to create some form of order and begins to categorize feelings/actions, usually as good/bad and right/ wrong. Each child is unique… a snowflake, and therefore, each decides how to cope with feelings according to their experiences and their unique needs. These coping devices can become extremely complex systems which form the basis of belief systems about themselves. Children are like pieces of raw clay and are molded by external experience… they DO NOT have a sense of who they are except by reflection from the outside world and what the world tells them about them. They begin to believe feelings and that feelings are real and if they are told they are “bad”, they feel “hurt” and this feeling is judged as “bad”. Since a child does not like what are judged as “bad” feelings, the tendency is to deny them expression and they are internalized. The “bad” feelings then start to accumulate as a negative image of self and become low self esteem and unworthiness to love and be loved which forms part of the child’s belief system of who they are. At this point, the pain starts to build resulting in the child losing his/her innocence… the trueness of who they are. This disconnection is the start of believing those negative things projected by the world about them and who they are and the feelings generated by these projections. This denial of who they truly are, their true, innocent self, is the source of excruciating pain….
The same is true of overly positive projections by the world. However, in these instances, the ego builds an unreal/ false self value/ worth, which shows itself as arrogance, and feeds on/ NEEDS positive feelings to sustain itself. Negative feelings relating to self are likely to be denied as untrue, but WILL accumulate in the subconscious and form a low self worth despite outward appearances. The need for positive feelings fed by the external world correlates directly to the perception of lovability…. Worthiness to love and be loved. The result is the same as negative projections… pain will begin to build as a result of the denial of the true self/ innocence… who they truly are…
Most people on the planet suffer effects from mental/ emotional sources of pain in the duality of selfs. It is important to know that it IS possible to transcend even physical pain through the unquestionable, unconditional acceptance and knowingness that YOU ARE NOT THE PHYSICAL BODY, but ARE a SPIRIT FIRST, FOREMOST AND ALL WAYS… and in that way detaching from the physical experience.
Healing by clearing held feelings and emotions has the effect of awakening dormant DNA nodules as a result of clearer energy channels. Awakened DNA greatly assists in the healing the physical body. The human race is only now discovering the real human potential in DNA, power of the mind, influences of soul experiences, etc...
In different terms, the foregoing is the essence of what is taught in some higher belief systems… acceptance (of self/others), non-judgment (of self/others), self-lessness (of ego self), detachment (from physical reality) and other teachings of ascen-dance to a truer/ greater reality that move one into the innocence of the child/spirit and the dance of life… The Dalai Llama once stated in a speech that Buddhism is about "...self- appreciation…." and, in my mind, self healing is the greatest act of self-appreciation/self-love a person can do…So, love thy self enough to heal your self... It is your choice....
Judgment of thoughts/ actions… good/bad, right/wrong… introduces negative & positive feelings created from thought/experience connecting with emotion. The resulting feelings, generically, are not real but are simply a temporary, essentially neutral, energy form created within a person from and for the experience and should be acknowledged/ expressed, accepted and released. Positive feelings can become addictive to the extent of being pursued vigorously absorbing a lot of energy and become a means of avoiding reality which contains both, positive AND negative feelings. Therefore, positive feelings are not necessarily “good”… but are not “bad” either… ALL feelings should be part of the experience and become part of the past along WITH the experience….
It is negative feelings that present the greatest challenge, because the tendency is to hold them within oneself, instead of experiencing, acknowledging/ expressing them and letting them go. These held feelings are fed by other experiences which cause them to grow and thus, dis- ease sets in on the mental/emotional levels which eventually manifest in physical form. Holding negative feelings becomes a pattern of denying the reality of the human existence and it too, can become addictive and absolutely definitive in unconsciously determining the actions and responses of an individual in different situations. Negative feelings, that are held, consume an enormous amount of energy, simply to keep the security systems of a comfort zone in place. Blocks, barriers, denials, or whatever they might be, drain a person's energy system, and cause weakness physically and in immune systems, mentally and emotionally and, eventually, become disease.
Unprocessed feelings become part of a complex, unconscious program which operate the individual without their awareness through conditioned responses, much like Pavlov’s dog. Experiences/thoughts connect with emotions creating a feeling which follows a path to memories of other experiences of same/ similar feelings. If the feeling(s) from that memory have not been processed and cleared, they add to the held feeling(s) and it grows, and it will continue to grow until the first trigger experience of the feeling is accepted, the feelings cleared and the learning taken from it. This will essentially clear all subsequent similar experiences/feelings. If not cleared, the feelings grow until the feelings manifest in physical reality as disease… The original experience and the unprocessed feelings are the start of dis- ease, or mental/emotional discomfort.
Fear lies at the root of all discomfort... unwillingness to look at mental/emotional history, especially negative experiences, because it is believed that it is a painful experience to be avoided. This belief does, however, create a barrier between the selfs… the human, ego self and the higher SELF…. This is the creation of separation/ duality within an individual where thoughts/ actions/ feelings are judged good/bad or right/ wrong and the war within begins and becomes manifest on the outside in personality. This is the essence of the allegory of the Garden of Eden and separation from the “god” that is within each person, caused by fear, doubt, guilt, etc … Note that guilt and many negative feelings are really self judgment and we take these on as a truth by our freewill choice....
The center of this dynamic is choice… first, choosing the thought/ action/ experience, whatever that may be, recognizing that ALL experiences are a choice, consciously or not, for a purpose and nothing happens WITHOUT a purpose. Secondly, how it will be experienced from the perspective of emotions… joy, sadness, hurt, or fear are the primary emotions which will connect to the thought/experience to create the feeling experience…. Thirdly.. the choice of how the generated feelings will be processed… felt and held/denied or, acknowledged/ expressed, accepted and released. These choices are critical, since the consequence of the choice is dis- ease/ disease or not… The purpose of the experience is what each individual must determine for themselves…. learning, teaching, enjoyment, expression of self, and give and receive exchange of energy with others are just a few and may include several aspects in one experience.. ie: a learning / teaching experience is naturally an energy exchange as well…
The key to existence in peace, love and harmony is to be in the moment which, quite simply, means being self-aware all the time and being in alignment/attunement to the innocence of your higher SELF. Self- awareness allows the instantaneous and spontaneous expression of feelings and/or the processing of them so that they are not held or denied and this keeps the energy system clean and clear. This is exercising choice during the action/ experience and THIS IS TRUE FREEDOM. As an analogy, it is the constant blank screen of the mental and emotional bodies … like an etch-a-sketch from which every drawing/experience can be erased and be ready for the next one… It is getting back to the innocence of the child who does not judge things in terms of right/wrong, good/bad or perfect/ imperfect and is the state of BEING OK (NOT just FEELING OK ) with every thing….
Pain does not, in fact, exist in and of itself…. As a child, an individual learns of physical pain from experiences in the body.. falling hurts, and touching a hot stove hurts and these are bad experience. These experiences of physical feeling are taken by the child and applied to mental/emotional feeling situations. If something doesn’t feel good, it must be bad, and since a child does not want to feel bad, the inclination is to judge feelings in these terms and, rather than acknowledge negative feelings, deny them. This starts to happen at around the age of two, when a child starts to become aware of mental /emotional feelings and is more aware of sensory input and a greater world. The innocent child does not know what feelings are or where they come from and develops coping skills/ programs in order to take care of them. Unlike the sensory feelings, mental /emotional feelings are random, constant and chaotic and, since no one but the child is aware of them, the child cannot be taught how to deal with them. Out of his/her discomfort with chaos, the child decides to create some form of order and begins to categorize feelings/actions, usually as good/bad and right/ wrong. Each child is unique… a snowflake, and therefore, each decides how to cope with feelings according to their experiences and their unique needs. These coping devices can become extremely complex systems which form the basis of belief systems about themselves. Children are like pieces of raw clay and are molded by external experience… they DO NOT have a sense of who they are except by reflection from the outside world and what the world tells them about them. They begin to believe feelings and that feelings are real and if they are told they are “bad”, they feel “hurt” and this feeling is judged as “bad”. Since a child does not like what are judged as “bad” feelings, the tendency is to deny them expression and they are internalized. The “bad” feelings then start to accumulate as a negative image of self and become low self esteem and unworthiness to love and be loved which forms part of the child’s belief system of who they are. At this point, the pain starts to build resulting in the child losing his/her innocence… the trueness of who they are. This disconnection is the start of believing those negative things projected by the world about them and who they are and the feelings generated by these projections. This denial of who they truly are, their true, innocent self, is the source of excruciating pain….
The same is true of overly positive projections by the world. However, in these instances, the ego builds an unreal/ false self value/ worth, which shows itself as arrogance, and feeds on/ NEEDS positive feelings to sustain itself. Negative feelings relating to self are likely to be denied as untrue, but WILL accumulate in the subconscious and form a low self worth despite outward appearances. The need for positive feelings fed by the external world correlates directly to the perception of lovability…. Worthiness to love and be loved. The result is the same as negative projections… pain will begin to build as a result of the denial of the true self/ innocence… who they truly are…
Most people on the planet suffer effects from mental/ emotional sources of pain in the duality of selfs. It is important to know that it IS possible to transcend even physical pain through the unquestionable, unconditional acceptance and knowingness that YOU ARE NOT THE PHYSICAL BODY, but ARE a SPIRIT FIRST, FOREMOST AND ALL WAYS… and in that way detaching from the physical experience.
Healing by clearing held feelings and emotions has the effect of awakening dormant DNA nodules as a result of clearer energy channels. Awakened DNA greatly assists in the healing the physical body. The human race is only now discovering the real human potential in DNA, power of the mind, influences of soul experiences, etc...
In different terms, the foregoing is the essence of what is taught in some higher belief systems… acceptance (of self/others), non-judgment (of self/others), self-lessness (of ego self), detachment (from physical reality) and other teachings of ascen-dance to a truer/ greater reality that move one into the innocence of the child/spirit and the dance of life… The Dalai Llama once stated in a speech that Buddhism is about "...self- appreciation…." and, in my mind, self healing is the greatest act of self-appreciation/self-love a person can do…So, love thy self enough to heal your self... It is your choice....
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