Apologies- "I'm sorry.."

I sometimes have difficulty with the phrase: " I'm sorry...".

People often use the phrase in an apologetic way... in a way that suggests that they cannot change a state of things or the outcome of choices. It also suggests that some form of guilt has been assumed and that responsibility has been taken for an emotional "something" going on in another's life. In these circumstances, the words seem insincere, and suggest that the person made a choice to do something or not, from a state of unawareness.They made a choice which THEY regret, and they believe it affected me and, now, they are trying to smooth over their own guilt and fears by apologizing. It has nothing to do with how I feel, but how THEY feel...It is THEY who are living with the regret, not me... I have my own feelings about what has occurred and they do not know what they are and I will deal with that which is mine. If the choice is made from awareness, and the knowingness that everything is perfect, then there is no need to apologize. It was a choice without stigma... it is as simple as that !

Sometimes, " I'm sorry.." is used in an empathetic way, but this seems inappropriate as it implies that an emotional alignment with another exists when, usually, the empathizer is only "feeling bad for them..". There is no real emotional alignment occurring unless a person deeply connects with the feelings of the other, and not every one does that. Feeling " bad " for another simply does not accomplish anything, except the feeler participates in their drama and prolongs or deepens it. Wouldn't it be better to comfort them in another way ?? In a positive, supportive way?? And why apologize for something that does not involve you or is beyond your control ??

If someone says to me, " I'm sorry " it has many implications in my mind. It suggests that I cannot take care of or have not taken responsibility for my own feelings. It suggests that they KNOW what I am feeling when, very likely, they do not. It suggests that their words can somehow clear up my discomfort. If that is the desire, talk to me, and find out what is going on with me, otherwise the words are empty. People often use the phrase.. " I'm sorry to hear that bla... bla... bla... " and my thought is: " Oh really ?? Guess I shouldn't have told you.." For myself, I have chosen to use the words "I apologize for.." or "I'm saddened to hear... " which seem to convey the message I really want to give... that of stating how I feel about an experience.....

A number of years ago, Erich Segal wrote a novel, "Love Story", which contained a great truth.... " Love is never having to say you are sorry..." Think about this~~ Love... when it is pure and unconditional... is perfect in action or non-action. Love that comes from the heart truth, will never create anything where there is regret or any other negative feelings and therefore, no apologies are ever necessary... How wonder full.... ♥ ♥ ♥

What is Truth ???

There are 7 billion truths on this planet... one for each of us, and no two the same. Each person's truth is created by what they are taught by others and their life experiences and these form their attitudes, opinions and beliefs of who they are and what they are all about. These beliefs are formed from the intellect and from emotional experiences and each person's perception/ interpretation of life experiences and, for the most part, these beliefs of self are not true. They are what we have come to believe we are from others in our lives... we become defined by others. We become dependent on others to show / tell us who we are or should be and we become so conditioned that we dare not step beyond the defined, "normal" boundaries of self for fear of being judged. We live in fear of being "not normal" and this fear controls our actions, our thoughts, our very lives.... We live with a public facade of who we are and, in effect, create our own mythology of self which we hold out as "me"... and this is part of our "truth"....

So..... what is truth for each of us ??? It is and, paradoxically, is not our life experiences.... Much wisdom is accumulated from our experiences which makes us more as we grow in understanding from them. However, the truth of our existence is in our heart / spirit and soul and this is where a person should live from and not from a false self/ ego. The truth of self is something that keeps getting bigger and bigger as we seek who we really are. The truth of self is realized once we reach and understand the state of pure spirit and live it, as the spark of god that we are... as god in flesh.... This is the teachings of the Masters... we are not the limited beings that we believe we are... we are great beyond our understanding. As Nelson Mandala stated, in paraphrase, " it is not our darkness that we fear, it is our light... " . The strange thing is, we actually wallow in our darkness... in our pain, our sadness, our sorrow... in our beliefs of unworthiness... our negativity... and use these emotional crutches as excuses for not doing and not being/ living all that we are. This is, usually, not a conscious choice... it is the default setting in our behavioral patterns... the automatic response. We simply do not know otherwise and accept this, our diminished being, as our truth. This is the illusion. The challenge for each of us is to examine our belief systems objectively and, in doing this, determine the greater truths within them so that we can discard the rest. In the letting go of our false images of self and in healing our emotional scars, we become the clear self... the child again... with the spontaneous innocence of the free spirit. We become the being that trusts in the natural order of life / all and creates a life of love, joy and abundance from the simple purity of higher self. What a wonder full truth to aspire to...... : )